I never expected to be here.
I never expected to be running my own business; supporting people with their learning and emotional needs. I've always viewed myself as just 'bumbling along', never really sure where life might take me on my journey. Not believing in myself. Not knowing what I'd be capable of. I most certainly would not have believed I'd accomplish all that I have. Counselling, psychology, teaching... more on that another day.
There's still so much more I want to do, learn and explore. I am making it my mission to learn as much as possible so I can better help my clients. My latest idea: ADHD coach.
This is absolutely doable, plus much more. But how quickly? I guess that's why I've felt I 'bumble along' because nothing ever happens fast. That's life though, hey? Unless you have a fantastic local college offering free courses, this learning does not come free. So there's the added time to my end goal. Will the end goal ever end? Will I always keep striving for more? Even if you do have a fantastic local college, not everything is free. There's a massive push for mental health and neuro-diverse support however if you want to make a living out of it, it most certainly needs investment.
How does someone, having left a secure job, starting out on their own manage all of this?
By Beeautifully Bumbling By!
Now, as I'm typing this I have a massive knot in my chest. When I have an idea, I want it to happen there and then. I get excited. I get motivated. I get overwhelmed. I get disheartened. The cycle repeats. I'm telling myself that it's ok to bumble along. It's ok that progress is not linear. It's ok that things takes time. The voice in my head says otherwise.
This may well be due to the fact that we suspect I may have ADHD/Autism. It may be due to my anxiety. It may well just be a natural process of life. The key here is that I keep going. I keep trying. I keep showcasing what I can do, how I can help, how passionate and how bumbling good I am at my job. That is beeautiful.
So, in fact, I'm not just 'bumbling'. I am beeautifully bumbling. And so, this blog was born. To not only provide an outlet for my never ending thoughts, but to hopefully help my fellow bumblers; wether you are bumbling at the speed of light or more like terry the tortoise, you are most welcome. I have lots of stories to tell and I'm sure lots for you to relate to!
I am hoping, in reading my words, you too can feel a somewhat relation to my experiences. We are never alone in our struggles although it often feels like it. If I can do it, so can you. I promise.
I had a student today who didn't attend a session because their school gave them their timetable last minute. They were not ready and prepared to attend. Guess what? Nor was I! The last minute notice had exactly the same impact on me. The difference though is that I am older, I have a duty to show up for my students and although I am aware of how my mind works, it doesn't mean I have to fall prisoner to it. I bet they don't even know I share their feelings. We are never alone in our struggles, see? That in itself is beeautiful.
My advice to you today; regardless of how fast you are bumbling along, where you are or what your goal is, keep bumbling by; even when your wings are tired. In doing so, you'll find it starts looking more beeautiful.
You are not alone. Can we Beeautifuly Bumble By together?
Annie x
Comments